I agree totally with you Lemmon. That is why it is SO VERY IMPORTANT that gays and lesbians are seen as partners, spouses, etc under they eyes of the law. This horrible custody battle in Vermont between the lesbians is just appalling and I think it is showing the country that we don't view ourselves as partners/spouses.
Divorce is ugly. Breaking up a long relationship is ugly. When children are involved it is even uglier. But in the end you have to do what is good and right for your kids. If you spend 8 years raising a child together, why all the sudden when you split up can the "nonbio mom" not be good enough for visitation or joint custody?
I think it is a very emotional time, obviously, but in the end, if we (as lesbians) don't recognize our partners (or ex-partners) as equal parents, then we have an even longer row to hoe.
My 2 cents.
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OK I dont really care for the term "nonbiomoms" but it is descriptive. I dont like the fact it starts with "non" , it indicates Not a mom to me.
well I know so many ladies that have nonbiological children, they talk about thier kids from a previous relationship and rarely do they have a healthy joint custody agreement, if one at all. It just seems the kids gets the short end of the stick, I know someone who spent 8 years with her son then suddenly his biomom tells her she cant see him anymore, no calls, no explaining or goodbye to her son. A son she spent his life telling him she would always be there for him, never abandon him or reject him, always love him unconditionally, then they are forced apart for years. I knew my friend was hurting over losing her son, then after 2 years her ex lets the boy call her and come see her, then I see how the seperation was so painful for her son. How he also hurt missing his other mother and all the fun they had. They see each other now, and email, and he remembers all the good times they had when he was young. Its the kids who suffer, who feel abandoned, and who are forever stuck having only one parent. These kids need rights, rights to both their parents love and affection for a lifetime. Read my poem on features called "for the kids" and post some comments or stories you have.
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