Oklahoma City Lesbian Message Board
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RE: Coming out to your family(?)
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posted by Lissa
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That's really good advice Molly! and my brother mentioned it to my parents, and my mother said mentioned it to me. he uses the word 'fag' as a homosexually degrading term, my brother is judgemental to all minorities, off the top of my head.
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RE: Coming out to your family(?)
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posted by Molly
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Did he tell you that he went to your parents or did your parents tell you? Is there any chance that your brother might be gay? I find it curious that he used the word "fag" when describing a gay woman and I know that a lot of deeply closeted people come across as being homophobes. If you do wind up telling your family, I'd start off with, "Since my brother has taken it upon himself to discuss my sexual orientation, I think it's time to set the record straight" or something like that. I'd make it clear that the only reason you're bringing it up is because of his not minding his own business.
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RE: Coming out to your family(?)
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posted by Lissa
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He went to my parents and told them he was worried I might be a "fag", his concerns aren't religious based he's a homophobe. It surprises me he likes Moose, that's because she helps out my mom so much and my mom just loves her. He calls me sometimes when he's drunk and wants to have a "heart to heart with his sister" so I do what any person would do and dont answer the phone. So he leaves a voicemail and i call him back the next week.
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RE: Coming out to your family(?)
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posted by Molly
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This is a tough one. Has your brother asked? It sounds like from your post that he has. Is he scared because of religious reasons (some people are actually scared because of how society views it--my mom had concerns about that when I came out--the whole tough life thing). I guess if I were you, I'd just really listen to my heart and go with what feels right. If you do wind up telling him, make sure you express to him how happy you are--I've wondered if people who aren't open have a hard time when someone comes out because gay people almost feel a need to justify and defend themselves (and rightfully so). When I told my mom (she was the first), I started with, "Mom, I've never been so happy before in my life and it's because I'm in love with a woman." She told me later that the way I started it, helped her.
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Coming out to your family(?)
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posted by Lissa
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here's the deal my parents pretty much know, they haven't asked because they don't want to know, but they do. My brother on the other hand is scared to death that i may be gay. I am gay. So this is the situation. Telling him would 1.put such a strain on our already strained relationship 2.put stress on my parents 3.make things even harder for my sweet girlfriend
so i don't wanna tell him, but what should I say when he asks?
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